About ten years...

I'v been having this feeling that we're slipping apart...we haven't been communicating and that wasn't a problem when I was studying back in Hong Kong...maybe it's just becos I was occupied with my other problems back then...people change I know...but known her for about ten years...can we really change that much?it seems like I don't know her anymore...we used to think alike and do things alike...now we seek for different things and even when I don't want to believe it...I have to admit that I'v been opposing her mentally...I feel sick and guilty about it...don't know why...just like last night...she's back from somewhere else and she didn't even tell me how everything went...she didn't even tell me she left in the first place...all she asked was if I wanted to join her in Jame's birthday party...I don't even know that guy that well...and she asked me cos she was afraid she'll get lonely...I was really hurt about that...it's as if I'm being a puppet now...only ask me out when she has no one else to go out with...maybe I'm just too sensitive and I think too much...but I really felt the bond that we used to have fading away...to top all that...she stopped chatting all of sudden and went offline without saying goodbye... how nice...*sigh* I really want to tell her how I feel...but I don't know how she would react...she always says I'm her best friend...but am I really?maybe I should start gathering my guts and organs...put them in place...seal them up tight and tell her how I feel...or maybe not...